Why is SACHIN TENDULKAR called god of football?

That is still a mystery,my friend.
Dear friend ,I hope you haven't asked this question to anyone else.Please let it remain the same way.....

My DVD drive is broken, can I use my scanner to read my DVD?

NO ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR MIND? you can't use your scanner. But you can use your Kindle reader.

How do I know whether I have fallen in love?

Check for any kind of bruised,broken bones,scratches,fractures or any kind of injuries ; All these happen if you fall.

What will happen if I don't install windows updates?

If you don't install your windows updates,

You might not be able to open your windows thus flow of breeze would be blocked.

You might not be able to view what is outside through your windows.

Your windows might cease to exist and would be replaced by walls thus blocking the entry of sunlight.

I can find kolkata on my map.But where can I find kolkata knightriders?

Dig one kilometre deep.And try covering yourself in it.You'll reach kolkata.NOTE: dig exactly 1 km deep if  you dig more you'll reach Rajasthan royals...so do it carefully.

I can't find the chamber of secrets in my school toilet.What do I do now?

All you have to do is to try flushing yourself  into the septic tank of  your school.You'll find your answer there.

How to lose weight in a week?

Well it doesn't necessarily take a week to lose weight. You just have to follow the three steps that I am going to reveal to you. First of all, Fix a Goal- Decide how weight you have to lose. For example, 5 kg. Second (this requires you to put in some money), Buy the weight you wish to lose- in this case 5 kg. And the third (and the most simple step)- lose it.

I tossed a coin. What is the probability of an event where the coin will stand on its edge?

Probability of getting  head (H) =1/2
P(H) - 2=P(H)-2x1=P(-) =1/2-2=-3/2--- Eq. 1
P(getting a tail (T)) =P(T) =1/2--- Eq. 2
Eq.2-Eq.1=P(T) - P(-) = P(l)
The thin line between the brackets represent the thin edge of the coin. So P(l)  = P(T) - P(-) =1/2-(-3/2)=2

As it is greater than 1 it is impossiple to make a coin stand on its edge

How many galaxies are present in the universe?

Probably only the half of galaxy smartphones from Samsung.

Help! My iPhone doesn't fly when I turn on airplane mode!!

Its probably because of either of the following 2 reasons:
1) The root kernel of your iPhone while dumping SSH blobs is causing Darwin CC to cause root mean square of higher algebraic powers of radiometry to block your iPhone's contact with radio tower during take off.
2)The debian packager of your default source code causes the inflation of binomial theorem with the blobs of your microfilm touch transistor causing the blue unicorn to fart.

Why doesn't a dictator conduct dictations?

Nearly 70% of all the dictators does not know English. So they is no point in these beard headed muddle heads conducting dictations

I'm a vegetarian, but I want to eat Chicken noodles without the chicken, PLEASE HELP!!

Prepare/ Order your chicken noodles
Take a piece of magnet, take a can of AXE deodorant, spray axe all over the magnet.

Keep the magnet over your chicken noodles.

The magnet now attracts CHICKS due to axe.
Now have your chicken noodles without the chicken.

Where is old York?

Go directly to Welburn Street. Just after the police station, there is a sharp right turn. Just beside that road there is a public toilet. Inside the toilet there is a well furnished closet. If you use your full potential and take a dump and produce solid structures big enough to play football with, then the chamber of secrets will open and descend it to reach old York

I lost my Internet. Tell me how to fix it?

Make a thorough search. In your bag, purse etc. If you are still unable to find it, then report to the nearest police station or give an article in the daily newspaper with photo

I had an earthquake in my house. Will a tsunami rise from my aquarium?

There is about 70% chance for that to happen. For the time being call fire force and rescue all the fishes from the aquarium. Then you can pack your necessary items and evacuate. You can't leave your life in the hands of fate.